after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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