I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
