she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
