Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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