I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wish life had little blips of pornography
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
