My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
