i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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