Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
