K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
