Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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