An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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