my mouth tastes like poor choices
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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