I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
