the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize