She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nutella sex= disaster
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
