it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We were destined to go to rehab together
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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