is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
