Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
