Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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