Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
