I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
