Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hippo gnu deer
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
