I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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