Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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