I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
