He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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