I wish I only lived at night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
