I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize