I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
