He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
