How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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