Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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