so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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