I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
