so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All I want is dick and wine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
