I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
