so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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