Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
