I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
