the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
