Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize