halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize