I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
