Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
