apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
