Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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