Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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