We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
