are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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