When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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