Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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