if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
