I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
