I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
