I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
