I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
we should paint friendship bongs
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
