am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
