I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
