i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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