I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
