Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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