I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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