yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
