I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
