I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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